Welcome back!
Have you ever woke up and almost three months has passed? No, really, have you? Because that's pretty much what I'm going through right now. It's an odd feeling, but I kind of like it!
In this issue of I Own My Own Business...The Business of Me I'll be talking with a few industry professionals about how they manage to stay busy and sane at the same time.
First up is one of my best friends and one of the most talented people you'll ever meet!
Mim Paquin. To learn more about Mim, please check out her website www.mimpaquin.com
Q: When did you make the decision to concentrate fully on a classical and opera career?
Growing up in a home with an audiophile classical music audio-engineer father meant that I was constantly being exposed to classical orchestral music. Both of my parents are trained vocalists and actors. After getting in to the Boston Conservatory on a full-scholarship and listening and hearing the classical vocal performance majors, I made a promise to myself: If I hadn't succeeded in being an original singer/songwriter by age 30, I'd make the transition to classical voice. 30 came and went. I realized I was successful as a singer/songwriter, so I kept working at that. Then I literally woke up one day and had the desire to sing in church again. I made this known to a few friends and a couple of months later found myself music director of a youth rock mass at a local Long Island Catholic Church. While there, I joined National Pastoral Musicians and went to a Liturgy Institute. I think God had something to do with this decision. Did as much as I was going to do vocally in all other styles of music. I ultimately made the decision to focus on opera because I wanted to challenge myself. Best part about it is, UNLIKE singing other styles of music - I don't have to give up singing other styles of music, since most of opera is healthy singing. It was a win/win! I made that decision a very long time ago, but followed through with it in 2005 upon returning from the Liturgy Institute.
Q: What changes did you have to make to your lifestyle to make these dreams a reality?
I needed to bring myself back vocally to my classical voice. If that was possible, all plans were a go! It was possible, so go we went. I didn't make any changes to my lifestyle since as a musician and singer from a very young age I would practice anywhere from 2 to 4 hours a day singing and playing piano. -In this case I just had to budget my time between translating arias, learning the scenes and characters and ultimately learning the actual music. Nothing has changed except the sounds coming from my apartment are no longer only r&b, Broadway, jazz and gospel or crazy character voices.
Q: How does the opera world differ from, say, musical theater and what are some of the extra steps you have to take to build up a career in classical music and opera?
That's a loaded question and the answer you get, really depends on the person you ask. Those at the top of the game will tell you that the process to get to perform opera is no different from musical theater. The main difference is the singing, the vocal development that goes on beyond just singing through and rehearsing rep. My life experience has taught me that the more artistic singers typically heard in a rehearsal studio will produce snippets of arias, scales and hitting the area of their voice that is the weakest part in relation to which ever role for which is being prepared. In musical theater, one relies predominantly on coaches and music directors and singing through the rep. In opera, one relies on multiple coaches, a primary teacher or two - the conductor for the production and singing through the rep and repeating weak phrases over and over again. -Everyone wants and expects something different and because the expectations are so incredibly high, this constant constructive criticism is necessary. I've worked and trained in musical theater, aside from doing more physically demanding choreography, musical theater, for me, is easier. Then again, a colleague of mine currently assistant conducting at the MET said, that there is no longer a difference between musical theater and opera, because opera has been bringing in Broadway theater directors and choreographers. So not only do we have to sing at the top of the game - we have to package ourselves with the same amount of deliberate intensity musical theater singer/dancer/actors actor/singer/dancer dancer/singer/actors do! All of the steps are the same.
Q: Now you own your own business, Silver Voice NYC. On average, how many hours do you dedicate to your business?
It varies from week to week. In reality, truly running a service business without a storefront is actually not time consuming until I record and do post-production for a client. To quantify the hours dedicated would be misleading. Truly.
Q: When you are preparing for a concert, recital, or other performance, how many hours do you practice?
I practice every day - even when I am not preparing for a performance. I think the difference between me and many in my field, is that I do not require an instant gratification of presenting my hard work to an audience in order for the work to have meaning the same amount of time still applies to this: 1 to 4 hours a day, more when production rehearsals are involved. There is a reason why singing r&b, jazz and character voices are simple for me, even though I "sing opera" I never stopped practicing, ever.
Q: Ok. With all those hours put into your voice and business, I am curious about something. I know there has been an addition to your family. Has the added responsibility of being a Mom made you better at time management?
I was always crap with time management, but one thing I have always had is a great sense of humor and extremely easy going attitude. I do not think everyone can do what I do. I thank my temperament and technical mind that enables me to focus on what is ultimately important: my health and the health of my family. If I fret and worry about time - I'm stealing away the happiness from my time with them. So no, I suck at time management, but I'm never late for anything, get projects done well before deadline, memorize arias in foreign languages in a matter of hours (even with a baby requiring attention - which most people can't even learn one in English in a quiet room alone!!) -I really think it all depends on the person. I make singing a fun goofy activity for my son, so he watches and learns and reminds me to smile even when the aria I am singing is from a scene where my character is about to die. The message from my comedic mind is: Time management is a load of crap. Forget about labeling yourself and the amount of time you demand of yourself to be deemed worthy of those labels. Instead, spend time enjoying what you are doing, find the fun in the PROCESS of doing whatever it is that needs to be done and leave the labels and requirements to acquire those labels alone. I call myself Mim Paquin. That is sufficient enough. Mim Paquin, mother, soprano, audio-engineer... -that's all perception. To demystify it further, we stop putting expectations on ourselves is when we can finally bring into focus who we really are.
Q: How has motherhood impacted you as a performer?
Yes. I no longer put so much emphasis on the business of what I'm doing. I place the emphasis on people and relationships. The lesson my son will hopefully learn is that whatever he decides to do, he'd better enjoy what he does and like his colleagues and peer-group. I spend time with friends who care about love and life and who respect me as an artist. Everyone else, I've placed at a distance. That is how my son's presence in my life has impacted me as a "performer." I've created my own set of guidelines as far as the kinds of projects I involve myself in that I do not think everyone could or would agree to follow. He will learn integrity and honor outweigh financial gain, multiple vacations and residences. He will be taught the true road to having a presence of mind is to live in the present.
Q: What advice would you offer to individuals who think they have to give up their lives as performers when they have children?
Each person is different. Decide what you feel is right for you. But if you are going to be a parent and performer, lower your expectations and learn to laugh at the high-strung non-parents out there who place energy and emphasis in the wrong areas of life. You can do it, if you really want to, if you don't want to perform anymore. I wouldn't judge you. Just remember, you want to have a well-rounded life for you so that your child(ren) can watch and learn about life through your example. If you are going to be miserable without performing, then do your family a favor, and don't give up. No one likes a wet blanket whining about should have, would have, could have - your child(ren) is/are not any different. Give them the lesson of what it means to follow your dream and finding your happiness. That lesson is lost on so many and sadly, doesn't see the light of day in most homes in this world. Just by being a light of positive energy and love can be a worthy existence, a legacy in itself and one worth lifting up long after you are gone. Truly live your legacy so you can leave something of true value behind for your child(ren).
Now I'd like you to meet Seth Bisen-Hersh. My first interaction with Seth was on Twitter. He started following me and after looking him up and making sure he wasn't some kind of psychotic malcontent I started following him back. Then I auditioned for his weekly showcase at Don't Tell Mama's in NYC and I had a blast working with him. He's hysterically funny and extremely talented. After the first showcase, Seth invited me back to sing in a showcase for his 150th Showcase Celebration where I would sing an original tune by Seth. Turns out Seth chose the perfect song for me to sing.
SETH BISEN-HERSH (Composer/ Lyricist): is a prolific, versatile composer/lyricist and performer. His musicals include What If...?, Love Quirks, Stanley's Party (Manhattan Children's Theatre), More to Love, The Spickner Spin (FringeNYC Audience Favorite Award) and Meaningless Sex (FringeNYC Audience Favorite Award). He also produces two annual charity concerts of his work featuring Broadway performers: Broadway Meows and Broadway Can!, and writes/ stars in the web series Every Day a Little Seth. He has two Bachelors from MIT and a Masters from NYU. Visit: www.sethbh.com;
Q: I know you are always busy with your showcase at Don't Tell Mama's and writing original music. What other projects are you working on to keep you busy?
At the moment besides the weekly showcases, audition playing and private coaching, I have 7 musicals I am juggling, plus the web series. We are doing a presentation of Love Quirks on Monday, June 27th, so most of my energy is going there, but also this summer Season 2 of Every Day a Little Seth premieres on Sunday, June 19th. Episodes will be uploaded 6 weeks in a row, Sundays at 11:59PM. And if that wasn’t enough we are doing the 3rd Annual Broadway Meows charity concert for the Humane Society of NY on Monday, July 18th.
Q: Do you take time for yourself to let your brain unwind? Like taking yoga or spending time at museums?
I haven’t the flexibility for yoga, nor the attention span for museums. I try to read, but lately I’ve been having trouble focusing, so the only way I can really unwind is by turning the brain to mush… ie watching TV. I follow a lot of TV shows, which leads to esoteric references in my series, so it’s sort of productive… in a way.
Q: Can you give me an example of a week in the life of Seth?
Yes.
Oh, you wanted an actual example?
I usually arise around noon, and I catch up on correspondence and my daily webpages I read for the first 2 hours of the day, if I don’t have a gig. There are definitely weeks where I have a lot of coaching clients and audition gigs, especially in the spring, but as summer arrives, that’s waning. If I have no gigs at all, then I dedicate the time to showcase maintenance, website maintenance, email correspondence, and, most prominently, writing. I always need a zillion stimuli at once, however, so I usually have an awful lot open on my desktop and on my desk while rotating through the day’s to do list until everything gets complete.
Q: I have two cats and I know when I am out and about day in and day out they can certainly hold a grudge. I know you have a cat, do you get the silent treatment when you can't spend as much time as you'd like?
Smee never gives me the silent treatment. It’s the opposite. He is constantly whining for food because he’s on a very strict diet with specific portions after almost dying from a bladder blockage. He ALWAYS wants food, and if I’ve been gone, he’s more adamant. However, I spend an awful lot of time at home, and living in midtown I can pop back in short breaks, so at least he doesn’t have to feel lonely too often.
Q: What is your favorite thing to do when you do get some time just for YOU?
Cryptic (and regular) crossword puzzles and playing chess and Scrabble.
Q: What advice would you like to share with performers out there that are in need of a little balance in their life?
I wouldn’t know a thing about balance. I work most of the hours of the day, and the hours I’m not working I’m usually still mulling things over in the back of my head. Plus, occasionally I write songs in my sleep. I think if one chooses this kind of career, it is essential to go whole hog, with everything you’re doing aimed towards the ultimate goal because a good portion of it is timing and luck. So while you’re waiting for timing and luck, all you can do is persist and improve your craft tirelessly!
UPCOMING FOR SETH:
Love Quirks Presentation: Monday, June 27th lovequirks.com
Every Day a Little Seth Season 2 Premiere: Sunday, June 19th – catch up on Season 1: youtube.com/EveryDayaLittleSeth
3rd Annual Broadway Meows: Monday, July 18th sethbh.com/broadwaymeows
Last but certainly not least is my friend KATHY DEITCH.
Q: Kathy I know your career started right out of college and has pretty much soared since then. Was there ever a time that you didn't think you'd be able to handle the demands of being a professional actress and keeping up with your personal day-to-day business? Well, my first job after graduation was directing at Shakespeare in the Park in Hoboken. In the middle of that, I saw the audition for the European Tour of HAIR and thought, "I can do this!" and I got it. Touring in Europe was a dream come true but after 11 months, I was ready to head back to the States. I put in my notice even though they wanted me to extend my contract (people always did HAIR for yeeears). But I knew it wasn’t the path I wanted to be on forever and I knew being back in NYC was where I needed to be. When I returned, I worked 5 part-time jobs to make ends meet. Coat checker, catering, and 3 others including a retail chain…but I did that on purpose. I had so many jobs because I wanted to be able to walk away from any of them at any time if theater work became available. And that’s exactly what happened. I walked away from a retail job because I was offered a chance to sing on the demo for Frank Wildhorn’s ‘Civil War.’ The retail job told me I couldn’t take the time to do the project and I said yes I can and I left. But that’s ok. Things worked out. You do what you have to do.
Q: Do you have a relaxation technique you use when you feel the stress building? Uh no. I wouldn't call it a technique. I tend to think too much and always have things swimming around in my head, getting overwhelmed by the future. In my head I think about all these future projects and plans and that gets overwhelming. I like the idea of 'stepping into my greatness' and doing what I am called to do on this crazy planet but its always a challenge. I try to stay in the process and answer the questions: ‘Where are you right now?’ 'What exactly are you doing?’ and ‘Why are you doing this?’ After being brutally honest with myself, if Ego or Fear are big reasons, I check myself before I wreck myself.
Q: I know you have lived in NYC and now you are in Los Angeles, two very fast-paced cities. What do you do when you get a moment to relax? In NYC, I would use the fast pace as a drug. I would feed off of it and make my life as crazy as possible. I would thrive in it. Here in LA, there is a ton of time. You have oodles and oodles of time on your hands. I was sort of like a lion pacing the cage a bit for the first three months. Then my friend Rosa told me ‘Kathy, there is Grace in the slower pace. You will have time and space to investigate yourself. It’s amazing.’ And when I embraced that idea it changed everything. When I need a pick-me-up, I go to NY to get plugged in (I'll be there the first week in June-can't wait!) and then I come back charged.
Q: What's a day in the life of Kathy like? Nothing is typical. I do wake up earlier out here (in L.A.). I'm a 12 Stepper, so I hit up meetings 3-4 times a week. Once a week I have hypnotherapy which has changed my life. My full, 5 week Audition Boot Camp hasn't caught on out here. Seems to be more of a trend toward instant gratification: "I have and audition, so let me coach for it once." I have an entire family that I give voice lessons to. It started out with the son who is 16, then the Mom and now the 13 year old daughter (I kinda want to make her a Disney star). A couple days a week, I work on Rosa’s food truck, Rosa’s Bella Cucina. It’s interesting and totally fun. It’s me and my two roommates, who went to school w Rosa & we've all been in hit Bway shows working on the food truck. There's lots of singing & dancing. It’s so nuts! It’s been like this happy random thing. And then I do get to audition. It’s funny because when I moved out here I was so willing to say goodbye to my acting career. My first month here I had some crazy shit happen: went to network and tested for the TV show Mike and Molly for Molly. Its a very big deal apparently *shrug* I was just thrilled there was a character I understood and seemed a lot like ME. And then, that same week, I booked ‘RENT’ at the Hollywood Bowl. Soon I had a manager and a commercial agent on top of my legit agents. I go in about once a week for stuff. Sometimes more and sometimes less. I don’t have to choose. I can be a slash…actor/producer, actor/director, etc. It’s been really good. I also squeeze in SKYPE coachings and I can't believe it works. All of my high school seniors did brilliantly at their college auditions. And sometime, like today, I have the time to sit and brainstorm the new script I'm thinking of or just journal or update my blog in a coffee place.
Q: How do you handle friends who feel neglected when your career has you super busy? There are people on a daily basis from NY that are always telling me to move back. Its hard. I think there's a fear of success changing the relationship forever.
Truth is, it won't be the same. But I gotta trust that my friendships will be what they're supposed to be. We all grow. But other people’s feelings are not my feelings. In the end, I need to be surrounded by people who want me to be successful and vice versa. Other people’s happiness about me staying where I'm at isn’t going to make me happy. You have to be most concerned with what YOU'RE doing. You have to find your ‘happy.’
Q: For performers who strive to have a packed calendar, what is one piece of advice you'd share about how to balance a busy life and career? A lot of the time people think they have to say YES to everything, especially in the begining; it does help to build up to build up their network. So you start an endless cycle of filling your calendar with so much work that you don’t necessarily care about because you are trying to get yourself out there and it seems harmless since you always make friends when you’re on the job. But there comes a time when you have to get real about what you truly want. Doing readings that are not good is not ok because you are afraid nothing else is out there. It IS ok to say NO. We end up tying ourselves up with jobs where you are treated poorly and auditions you have no interest booking. That is wasted energy. Know what you want and don’t just go to go. It’s a waste of time to fill your day with needless crap. I don’t want just any job. That’s not the artist I want to be. I’d rather have a part time job and coach. You have to be really honest with yourself about who you want to be and what you want to say to the world through your work. When I find myself working for the sake of work and stay way too ong in something because of fear that the next won't come, I check in with my motives as an artist. Work because it’s good and it feels right.
Kathy offers an amazing Audition Bootcamp when she's in NYC and you should definitely follow her Audition Bootcamp Group on Facebook! I took Kathy's Bootcamp back in June 2009 and it was the best thing for me. I was still pretty new to the audition circuit and I got frustrated really fast. I thought I knew myself and what I should be singing. I didn't. Kathy really opened my eyes. I started with one song but after the first class I switched after Kathy spoke about picking songs that reflected who you are and allows you to truly connect. And boy was she right!! It wasn't just a class that teaches you proper audition etiquette...but it was an acting class, a therapy session, a self-help class....and much more. I know you are reading this thinking what the whaaaaaa? But I'm not lying. Each class someone cried. Not because they were emotionally touched by someone's audition performance (Althought that DID happen) but because we let down emotional walls within ourselves in order to connect to our music and lyrics and truly shine as who we really are. And there is nothing more freeing than that. And YES, Kathy's class can really do all that. SO if you are around when she's back in NYC the first week of June her class is a MUST!!!! You won't be sorry! She's also available for private coachings via SKYPE! I'm actually setting one up for myself this summer right before I get back into the audition rat race. She's awesome...and I'm NOT just saying that. You can find her blog at www.coolgirlisdead.blogspot.com .
Side note: Kathy gave me my first callback at Wagner College for 'Godspell.' I didn't get it but it was the first time at Wagner that someone saw and believed in my talent. So, THANKS, Kathy!
I want to thank Mim, Seth, and Kathy for participating in my interviews. I am grateful to them for their help and insight and I know I my readers will be thankful too!
I can certainly attest to the difficult task of maintaining balance in life. As a professional actress I work almost seven days a week and sometimes at very odd hours. I still have to dedicate quality time to my husband and me, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and take care of day to day errands. Now, I have the added stress of starting my own entertainment company. How do I do it? Easy. I have an amazing husband, incredible parents, extremely supportive and understanding friends, and a great sense of humor. I have chosen this busy life...I know it's part of what I must do in order to achieve my dreams and goals. I do, contrary to popular belief, take time for myself and relax. Even if I get an hour to myself a week, I make the most of it. It's easy to become consumed by everything else around you and lose sight of the important things in life, but if you create priorities and remind yourself of those priorities everything works itself out. Now if there were 8 days in a week...that would be wonderful!
Now if you do have people in your life that are constantly interrupting your path to success, you honestly need to question why these people are still in your life. To echo what Kathy said, you have to find your 'happy' and your friends should be a part of that journey. Anyone who sets our to sabotage your happiness has no place in your life. None of us like to be the person to end a relationship but in all honesty is it better to have peace of mind or to always have to defend your dreams and goals to people who clearly don't want you to achieve them. I know there are people reading this that know exactly what I'm talking about. I've had conversations with you about this. Just remember...in life YOU have to take care of YOU. In the words of the great RuPaul "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
Thanks for reading this week!
COMING UP....
- Check out my company's new website. STAR OF THE DAY EVENT PRODUCTIONS
- June 10-Aug 21 - Happy Days! The Musical - Pines Dinner Theatre, Allentown, PA
- June 30 - Reading of 'Poppy and the Magic Tutu' - Wings Conservatory, Chester, NJ
- May 23 & 31 - Cat in the Hat - The Caring Place, Muhlenberg School, Allentown, PA
- June 6 & 13 - Cat in the Hat - The Caring Place, Allentown, PA
- June 18 - Sept 3 - Acting Intensive, Accents Model and Talent Center, Bethlehem, PA
- July 11 - Aug 29 - Theater Arts Workshop Series, Star of the Day Event Productions, Hellertown, PA
- I'm also working on getting those VLOG's going...so hopefully I'll have it ready to go next month.
- and more....STAY TUNED!
Quote of the Week: An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn't know why they choose him and he's usually too busy to wonder why." ~William Faulkner
Video of the Week: This video is really important to me. It's 5 minutes long and you should watch every second of it. If you've ever lost someone you love you should watch this.
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