Addiction

The past few weeks have been absolutely amazing...and terrible all at the same time.

On September 19th, Mike's Dad passed away. We spent the week on the Jersey Shore with his family. I headed back after the funeral in order to teach back at Civic Theatre on Saturday morning. It was a terrible time but like Mike and his Mom say, his Dad didn't suffer and his passing was quick and peaceful.

After returning from NJ I filmed a movie short. 3 minute B&W silent film. It follows a woman through her last moments before suicide. It was a place I've never gone to in my acting and it was a place that took much 'getting to.' The shoot was about 5 hours long (FOR A 3 MINUTE FILM) and I can tell you I learned more in those 5 hours of shooting than I did in most of my previous acting classes. The movie STABILIZED won top honors in content and acting. And the kicker was the award winning international filmmaker who screened the shorts would not allow comments during my final scene. He liked my 'realness' and he liked me. I've always wanted to try film. I've done a few smaller projects but have never been the lead in one. Since STABILIZED went so well, I was asked to act in another short for the same director. This time, I played opposite the great Marcie Schlener. My Rachel to Marci's Angie were lovers at an impasse. Rachel makes Angie choose between her or Angie's addiction to coke. The movie is being submitted to Manhattan Short Festival and we'll see what happens. 7 hours of shooting and I was exhausted - both mentally and physically. Working with the director Grete Miller and actress Marcie Schlener in a role I never saw myself playing until I was playing it is a testament to both Grete's direction and Marcie's ability to give her all for me. I spent a lot of time in tears and said the word 'FUCK' many many MANY times. The short was super intense but one thing I am certain of....I'm addicted to film. I love it! And I want to do more.

Now, a few weeks ago the director was talking about my silent performance in STABILIZED to a mutual acquaintance and the person said 'I'm sorry, I can't see Kirsten playing anything but musical comedy.' Well according to an award-winning international filmmaker...I am BETTER than just musical comedy.

Now, don't get me wrong. Please! I love musical theater. My roots are there. I love it! I have such passion for it...and I'm good at it. But, as an actress I want to try it all to really know if I can be good at film. And I think I can be. Playing a lesbian was challenging. And although the story is not about the lesbian relationship, I did have to be open to kissing another woman and making myself vulnerable within the relationship. It was a true test for me. What it all boils down to is professionalism. Everyone on set was professional and caring and compassionate and non judgemental.

Since March 6th 2011, so much has changed in my life. Every day I wake up and remind myself to just go for it. If I don't, I don't know if I'll get another day to try. I've stopped saying 'I'll do it tomorrow.' Even if I'm up for hours in the middle of the night getting things done, I just do it. Because I have to. I don't want to wake up when I'm 80 and say 'What the fuck did I do for 80 years and where am I now?' Instead I want to wake up when I'm 80, have a mimosa, and look back at my life like some cheestastic 80s montage and know that I made a difference for someone through my art. And that will be enough.

I can't wait for my next film project. Until then enjoy some wrap party photos from 'THRESHOLD

'


QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "Not loving you was never the problem" ~Rachel (from 'THRESHOLD' by Grete Miller)

RECIPE OF THE WEEK: MIMOSAS
Ingredients:

• Champagne (1 bottle)
• Orange Juice (1 carton)

Preparation:

Fill half of a champagne flute with chilled champagne (about 2 ounces) and top off with chilled orange juice (again about 2 ounces), gently stir. For added flare, slice up a strawberry to decorate the rim of each flute. Enjoy! * Also delightful over ice.



VIDEO OF THE WEEK: Stabilized

COMING UP....

PHENOMENAL WOMEN - OCTOBER 6, 2011 8PM Allentown Brew Works (Benefit for Breast Cancer Research) $10

CIVIL WAR CONCERT - OCTOBER 23, 2011 3PM Forest Hills Queens, NYC

THROWBACK - NOVEMBER 3, 2011 8PM Allentown Brew Works $5